Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Fear

On our walk around the block tonight, Jeff and I were talking about the job search. I realized I'm a little more nervous about it than I've been over other situations. Interviewing for residency was a little nerve-wracking, but in the end, a giant computer (under the sovereign hand of God) basically decided our fate.

This feels a little scarier for several reasons. When we moved to Greenwood, we were coming for residency, which was only for 3 years. As we look to our next job, it is much more open-ended. And the interview process itself seems scarier to me. Maybe it's because it's harder for me when it's Jeff doing the job hunting. Contributing, though, is the fact that interviewing for a pastoral job is different than other types of job interviews. It is a much slower process usually, since there are typically committee involved that have to meet and wade through applications and listen to sermons. We can send our info to a church and we don't even have a good timetable for how long it will be before we hear back.

In a regular job, people usually just talk to your work references, and are not necessarily as interested in your character, morals, spiritual development, or family life. Jeff made the comment that it is more unsettling since it feels like they are making a judgment about him and his character, and not just his skill set or professional capabilities. In the back of my mind (and sometimes in the front) is the worry that I (and my advanced degree and outside-the-home work) will be what committees reject. The PCA does not have many pastors who are married to doctors, and some churches have very high expectations for the wives of their pastors.

It is also difficult to know where to apply. We both would prefer to be near-ish to some family, but realize that may not be possible. I mentioned that some job descriptions seem a little ridiculous, but does that mean we just automatically write them off? I think about our little church where we are now, a church filled with wonderful people whom we love and who love us, and realize that the job description of a place like that might not jump out at us right away. But it has been an incredible experience and God truly blessed us by bringing us there.

So those are some of my thoughts and fears about our next transition. It was actually great to read some of my posts about interviewing for residency as a reminder of how God's faithful leading during that time brought us here. He is good and I know we can trust his leading, no matter what happens next.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I can't wait to read the blog post where you look back on this blog post and remember your nervousness. Then you'll talk about how God faithfully brought you to the best place where He would be glorified. I'll be praying for wisdom for you!