Lessons.

I went in to see a patient yesterday I've been caring for the last few days. Normally, he has a wife and daughter right there with him, a wife who proudly announced they had been married for 61 years. He was antsy to go home, although since he is really weak from his illness he needs to get some rehab before he can. I asked him the usual questions about how he was feeling, do my doctorly thing, and then we started chatting about his life. He fought in the pacific during WWII, and then was in Korea. I talked about my own granddad who also fought in the pacific. We were have a fairly breezy conversation about his life in the military which I could tell he had loved judging by the gray "high and tight" haircut he still wore.

In the midst of our conversation, he suddenly starts talking about his wife. And how once she told him she wanted a divorce. He started to tear up as he told me that the only reason she decided not to was because he told her she couldn't have the kids. Then he told me that she had some years ago kicked him out of the bed and told him to get his own bed. I was mentally reeling from the abrupt change of tone in the conversation. I am still often surprised by what people will tell me as their doctor, and felt overwhelmed by all the emotion and hurt that suddenly came tumbling out of him.

Being married 61 years is an amazing feat, but long is obviously not the same as great. I know that every marriage has ups and downs, and that in the course of such a long time, each partner is going to do things they're ashamed of, things they will look back on 15 years or 30 years in the future and cringe. A marriage is, after all, two sinners joined together. I guess I used to think that the main goal in marriage is longevity. I personally believe that divorce, except for a few legitimate cases, is wrong. Hearing this man pour out his sorrow yesterday made me want so much more than just having a marriage that lasts.

I want a union that glorifies the God who redeems us.

Comments

Sarah said…
I love this.
10:22 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Giveaway

Image
I've been watching in amazement for a few days as the links over here keep growing and growing with people who are hosting giveaways. The last time around I didn't participate, but now that things are slightly more settled in my somewhat crazy but wonderful job I thought I'd make an offering. The softies I make don't quite compare to amazing things you might see here or here , but I still think they are pretty cute. All those who leave comments will be entered to win the homemade softie of their choice, either an owl : (You can pick the colors you'd like, from a list of colors I have.) Or a penguin : Who will come with sunglasses, goggles, and a winter hat. (Because every good penguin should be prepared.) You can also pick (from a limited list) colors for the penguin's hat and glasses. I'll hold the drawing on Monday, since I'll be on call on Sunday, and the post the winner on Tuesday. Feel free to leave in your comment any favorite crafty blogs - ...
Read more

I am an awesome mom.

I won a new prize in the awesome mom category today. I have for some time been adding up points for all the ways that I am a good mom. Cut his tiny hand on his fourth day of life when I was cutting off the hospital band: check (He still has the scar!) Found rocks from our fireplace in his mouth: check Set down a knife on the table within his reach: check Turned around and found him holding said knife: double check Found leaves in his mouth: check, check and check Found him holding my razor, which I set down on the tub while he was in the bathroom: check Today, though, I set a new record. I locked Judah in the car. With all the windows up. See? Awesome mom, right here. It was a total fluke thing where I was tossing the keys onto the front seat as I was getting out and about to get Judah out. As I closed my door, the keys fell off the seat and into the shutting door, which closed on the lock button on our remote. And just like that, in a split second, Judah was locked in. ...
Read more

Final Picture Catch-up.

Image
First, about 8 weeks ago, we saw this.... Then this: A little bit later there was this: And this: And Last week it was this: I'm now 13 weeks along, due in late March. We feel incredibly blessed, and of course, are very, very excited. (Working at a doctor's office and knowing how to do ultrasounds definitely comes in handy when you want to see your baby... And yes, I have been doing my own ultrasounds. It's a bit awkward, but I'm getting better.)
Read more