I had a wonderful Mother's day this year. Although it felt like a long time, I realize our journey with infertility was fairly short compared to many other couples who struggle and wait for years and years. I never really had that experience of feeling very sad on Mother's day, or of leaving church because I felt left out of mother's day festivities, the way so many women describe. But I was still excited and so thankful to have a baby in my arms this mother's day.
I've been thinking some lately about the one we lost. If I'd had that baby, sweet Judah wouldn't be here. And I already can't imagine life without him. Of course, we'd have loved that baby, too, and I'm sure I'd feel the same way about that one. I don't get very sad about it anymore - I can see how God has used it in my life, and can thank him for his wonderful, healing touch, and how he has sustained and blessed us throughout this whole experience.
On Saturday, my parents came down and we made fish tacos and celebrated mother's day early. It was great having both our mothers here. Judah (and Jeff) were very sweet to me on the first mother's day where I actually had a baby with me. They got me a gift certificate to a day spa, where I get a whole day of pampering - either a facial or a massage, a "spa lunch," and a mani-pedi. I'm going to be spoiled. (I'm leaning towards the massage, but I've never had a facial. Are they worth having? Any thoughts out there?) Sunday, after church, I took a nap then made my strawberry jam, so I felt both rested and productive.
It really was a wonderful day. I am reminded again of why we named him Judah - We will continue to praise God for all his blessings.