Drowning.

I feel like I'm drowning in patients right now. January is apparently a very popular time to get sick.

Ever since starting residency, I've tried to be positive and avoid complaining. I mean, I've always figured that I chose this profession, I'm here to learn, and since I have to be here, I might as well be happy about it. (Or at least try my best to be happy.)

I'm having a really hard time. I had a long, busy call on saturday, and was back on day call today - when we had 4 or 5 admissions, including two that went to the ICU. I actually rejoiced when one of the patients we were supposed to admit got so mad when I was talking to him that he decided he wanted to leave. (To my credit, he didn't really need to come in, is very manipulative, and addicted to pain medicines, making him one of the most frustrating patients I've ever taken care of.) All I wanted to do today was grumble and be annoyed with the ER doctors for giving us patient after patient.

Then one of my patients in the ICU died. He was very, very sick, but his sweet wife was there beside him, and actually thanked me for taking care of him. And then I took a breath and was glad that she reminded me why I do this.

I'm not sure the point of this post, other than to say to please pray that I'll have patience for my patients. And that I'll have a good attitude, even when the ER is pounding us.

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