So I take care of lots and lots of alcoholics. Because of their usual poor health, they get admitted frequently with seizures, pancreatitis, bleeding ulcers, etc. They certainly make for some interesting interactions.
Here's the actual conversation I had with one of the alcoholic gentlemen I currently have on my service:
Me: How are you feeling?
Him: I feel good.
Me: Well, we have to give you one more dose of the IV vitamin tomorrow, but then you'll be able to go home.
Him: I am home.
Me, thinking he misheard: No, we're going to send you home tomorrow.
Him: No, I'm at home right now.
Me: Um...sir... no, you're in a hospital right now.
He looks very confused and slowly looks all around the room, checking out his surroundings, deeply pondering his location.
Him: You're telling me I'm in a hospital right now?
Me: yes, sir, you're in Greenwood in the hospital. You've been here for 6 days.
Him: I've been here for 6 days?? But yesterday, my cousin came and got me and took me home.
Me: No, sir, you haven't left here.
Him: But yesterday I was watching my mom feed her chickens in that field. (He points vaguely out the window towards the parking lot and several tree-lined streets.)
Me: No, I think you must have been dreaming about it.
Him: How is my mom doing?
Me: I've never met your mom. Maybe you should call her.
Him: I don't know if she lives in greenwood or Abbeville, so I guess there's no point.
Me: um.... ok... well I'll see you later.
Apparently he needs a little more medicine to help combat some confusion....