Dear Mr. (or Mrs.) Sandwich thief:
I certainly hope you enjoyed the tasty sandwich you ate last night, a sandwich I was actually saving for my husband to eat for lunch today. I would hate if it caused you something like heartburn. I just wanted to point out that when a person writes their name on a box in the refrigerator, they are actually laying claim to all the contents of that box, and not just the box itself. So while I appreciate you leaving me the box, the napkin, and the mustard packet, next time I would prefer that you actually do not bother anything inside the box, which does, in fact, include the cookie and the pickle and, last but not least, the actual sandwich. I realize this may be a big stretch, but if you can remember, the bag of chips that was next the box that was clearly labeled with my name, that also went along with the box. I guess I assumed that its geographic proximity to my name would have made it clear, but perhaps not. So if it's not too much trouble, maybe next time you could not eat the chips either? Thanks for your help in this matter.