Back to Intern year....

So you want to know what it feels like to be an intern?

Have a newborn. Seriously.

Intern year, I was on call every fourth night. Which felt very frequent. That meant that every fourth night, my sleep would be interrupted by the less-than-pleasant sound of my pager going off. Of having the experience of laying in bed, trying to sleep, but wondering when I'd hear that sound again. Of not being able to think clearly during the day because I was chronically sleep deprived.

Now, I'm on call every night. My sleep is interrupted by the sound of newborn cries and poopy diapers. I get in bed and then hold my breath, hoping that the little sigh he is making won't turn into a scream. I don't think clearly - as evidenced by my posting of the same photo twice. And not realizing it.

The only difference is that waking up to feed my baby is a joy - for the most part. Waking up to go to the ER in the middle of the night is not nearly as enjoyable. And I get to be on call with my husband - which, as much as I love the people I work with, is much more fun. My first few weeks as a doctor were great, but occasionally overwhelming. My first few weeks as a mom? They've been wonderful but just as overwhelming. I mean, I have a son. I have a son. Part of me still can't believe it.

Just like it took a few months to get used to saying, "This is Dr. Tell," it's going to take a little while to get used to calling myself "Mommy."

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