Until a week or so ago, I could not imagine ever being thankful for an HCG level that is declining. But today I am. My level went down by 27%, just eking past the required 25% decline necessary to avoid surgery. We'll have to keep following it, of course, to make sure it continues to fall, but for now we seem to have avoided all the most serious complications that can accompany ectopic pregnancy.
We deeply, deeply appreciate all the love prayers that have come our way. The facebook messages, emails, and texts have reminded us how blessed we are to be surrounded by so many who love us. This has obviously been a heartbreaking week, but we have certainly felt sustained by the one who has redeemed us.
I'm not sure I'll ever understand why this happened. Why we would be given such an unexpected blessing at the end of a tough year, only to lose it a few weeks later.
And yet - I realize it could have been so much worse. Ectopic pregnancy is a potentially life-threatening condition. I could have hemorrhaged. I could have been left permanently without one of my fallopian tubes or lost an ovary. I could have died. But I didn't. And I am thankful for this.
In Sunday school yesterday we were studying the story of Joseph, which seemed to me quite providential. He never got angry or doubted God's goodness in spite of being sold into slavery, wrongfully imprisoned, or forgotten. When he was called to Pharoah and saw the chief baker there, the one who had forgotten him, he didn't yell at him. He just continued to do what God had called him to do. Joyfully. That is where I want to be.