There are times when my neatly-wrapped theology fails to comfort me, and I simply have to trust in a God who has proved himself gracious and who I know is in control. Last night was one of those nights.
I received a STAT page to Labor and delivery, where a young woman who was 25 weeks pregnant came in and the nurses were having a hard time finding the baby's heart beat, and the heart beat they did find seemed too slow. The on call OB-Gyn also rushed into the room and on ultrasound we could see only the slightest glimmer of cardiac activity. We rushed her back and did an emergency C-section, got the baby out, and then I helped rescuscitate the baby for 20 minutes, all the while noting the perfect tiny little hands with beautiful fingernails laying motionless on the blanket.
The baby never moved. Never cried. We gave medications to try and get the heart going, but it was too late. It seems Mom actually starting bleeding behind her placenta, which cut off blood supply to baby for too long.
This is one of those days where being a doctor is hard.