Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Should I mow the lawn this summer?

Its something of a cruel trick of nature here in the south, that the months which require the most lawn mowing are also the months in which lawn mowing is least desirable. These days the heat index is just shy of Hades, and the humidity is barely short of actually raining, so putting on long pants and closed toed shoes to mow the lawn is not so appealing. So while my heart tells me to grab a cool beverage and stay in the nice A/C, my head tells me to be more logical about this, and to think things through. So I began to think...

1. Naturally, my thoughts go first to our national economic situation. Buying gas for the mower might be a good stimulant for the country and keep somebody in a job. Mow: 1 Not Mow: 0

2. However, gas is also a non-sustainable fuel, and running my mower causes unpleasant emissions which contribute to global warming. Is it really worth killing the polar bears just to have an aesthetically pleasing lawn? Mow:1 Not Mow:1

3. By now, many bugs, crickets, and other small animals have taken up residence in my lawn. Would it be right to heartlessly mow down their habitat? What would PETA think? Mow: 1 Not Mow: 2

4. Of course the real question here is, is it Biblical? In 1 Corinthians 3 Paul mentions that one man plants and another waters. But notice how he fails to mention the presence of a third man who mows. Perhaps what I really ought to be doing is either planting more grass, or watering the grass I currently have, and trusting that if God is giving growth, then he must intend for me to have long grass. I should not try to out do God by artificially controlling the length of my grass. Mow: 1 Not Mow: 10 (bible reasons count extra)

Question answered. Sorry neighbors.


Jason said...

Nice prooftexting! Some cities have a law that the city public works can come mow your lawn for you if it gets out of hand and charge you for it.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, and in my hometown, the process would go would be "everyone else's lawn is nicely kept and you might get a bad reputation - Mow +100" (one for each of your nearest neighbors) ;-) Of course, it's also rarely Hades hot or almost raining, and certainly not both.

mom said...

I love when you use your gift of wit.

Ken Shomo said...

But Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me." They cannot do so if they even find your front door, or if they are eaten or attacked by the wildlife in your front lawn.

Also, "If your Father so cares for the grass of the field which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven," etc. This is a clear reference to bagging grass. No mulching!

Now get out there and do your work, you sluggard (Prov. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31.)


Jeff said...

"The sluggard says, 'There is a cricket outside! I shall be killed in the streets!'”
Proverbs 22:13, (The Message)