Pilgrims at Oak Ridge

I do not want to be your doctor. You come in, complaining about bleeding and cramping. As the only female doctor in clinic that morning, I am asked to see you. I notice the high school ID badge you have hanging around your neck, your gray hooded sweatshirt. Four days ago, see, you had an abortion. 7 days ago, I had a miscarriage. I listen quietly to your story, gently examine you for signs of infection, and do not understand your decision at all. The voice inside of me wants to scream at you. How could you purposely end the life that was growing inside of you? It doesn't seem fair - you did not want to be pregnant, but were, and so ended it. I have tried to get pregnant for months and months, and yet lost the tiny baby that I carried. I think about our children - the ones neither of us will know. They would have been almost exactly the same age. Maybe one day they would have met - at school, or soccer, or swim lessons, two bright-eyed, smiling children. I do not want to be your doc...

1. A few months ago, we started getting Sports Illustrated. I have always loved to read magazines, and Sports Illustrated is no different. I skip the articles about Nascar, professional basketball, skim the ones on college basketball and the NFL, and enjoy the ones about baseball, college football, and any olympic sport. 2. I am not a graceful crier. My eyes and nose immediately turn bright red at the first hint of a tear, and so there is just no disguising the fact that I've been crying. I've always wished that someone could invent a magic cream that would instantly clear up all evidence of tears so I could get on with my day. Because when someone asks me if I've been crying, it tends to make me cry more. 3. I love Starbucks coffee. Why is it so much better than what I make at home? Maybe I need more lessons. 4. Several times I've made pulled pork in the crockpot. Every time I do, I remember exactly how easy it is and wonder why I don't do it more. So here's th...

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. I quickly realized that going to the doctor really makes me nervous. And I don't like it. I attribute it to the fact that growing up I barely ever went to the doctor. This makes Jeff wonder where his dislike of the doctor's office comes from. And don't get me started about the waiting. I actually had an argument with the lady at the office about when my appointment was. I was mailed a card that said it was at 12:45, and that I should come another 20 minutes early to fill out paperwork. Although they mailed me paperwork, which I filled out before I got there. But then they didn't believe that I would have been told the appointment was at that time. Or maybe the time I was given was early so I'd have time to fill out the papers. Except that they mailed me the papers AND told me to come ANOTHER 20 minutes early. It resulted in a lot of thumb twiddling. And then, when he asked me if I had any questions, I couldn't think o...

All the way my Savior leads me; What have I to ask beside? Can I doubt His tender mercy, Who through life has been my Guide? Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort, Here by faith in Him to dwell! For I know, whate’er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well; For I know, whate’er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well. All the way my Savior leads me, Cheers each winding path I tread; Gives me grace for every trial, Feeds me with the living Bread. Though my weary steps may falter, And my soul athirst may be, Gushing from the Rock before me, Lo! A spring of joy I see; Gushing from the Rock before me, Lo! A spring of joy I see. All the way my Savior leads me O the fullness of His love! Perfect rest to me is promised In my Father’s house above. When my spirit, clothed immortal, Wings its flight to realms of day This my song through endless ages— Jesus led me all the way; This my song through endless ages— Jesus led me all the way. You should check out the Wikipedia article on Fanny Crosby , author ...

This has not been a good week. Next week is currently not looking very promising, either. Even though I have always considered myself an optimist, sometimes I get very negative about things. Too negative. So, in light of that, I'm doing the last six of these quick takes as things to be thankful for, to remember God's goodness even when I'm sad. 1. After the new year started, I decided I needed to eat better. Residency is not exactly the best place to be healthy since we are often surrounded with food that is not so good for you, plus being on call every fourth night kind of messes up the eating schedule. I had already been bringing my lunch for a while, but decided to make sure these were healthier, and realized that I didn't really need quite so many sweets. The result? I'm down 10 pounds! And I'm feeling better-- so it's a double bonus. 2. I have gotten to sleep in until 7:30 for the last two days, go running before work (yesterday), and make it to a wome...

I haven't posted one of these in a while, but I did actually have a good thought the other day. I hate cutting jalapenos. I hate how the juice gets under my nails, and stays there - even after I furiously scrub my hands. I hate how if I try to take out my contacts, even hours later, my eyes are left burning. I hate it. But I also love fresh salsa and homemade pepper jelly - so sometimes I just have to do it. Now, you'd think I'd just bring home some gloves from work whenever I needed to cut peppers. But I don't usually think that far ahead. So what do I use instead? Plastic grocery bags. I just put my hands inside and use them sort of like gloves. I always have a big pile of them around, and when I'm finished I can use them to pick up the scraps, and then throw it all away. They're not perfect, but my hands stay pepper juice free, and my eyes are happy. That definitely works for me .

Looking again at my Christmas photos, there were a bunch of great ones that somehow never made it on the blog. So here is my attempt to catch up. Dad, Jeff, Dave, Hannah, and I all went to an NHL game. There was a fight less than a minute after the game started. This photo, though, is of two pee-wee hockey teams that played each other during the intermissions (or whatever you call the time in between each of the three periods). We really had a great time - though sadly the Avalanche lost. And of course, I couldn't resist posting a few more great photos of Jack and Ashlyn.

I don't post much about politics here. Not because I don't have opinions, but mostly because it's just not something I like to write about very much. I know lots of people my age really like and support Obama. And certainly, he is a gifted speaker who has some interesting ideas and at least talks a good talk about wanting to change things in Washington. So far, I'm not impressed. What really concerns me, however, is this . During the election, he talked about trying to unite pro-choice and pro-life in trying to decrease abortions. During his almost two months in office, though, none of his decisions about abortion have been moderate. Instead, he is making moves to force physicans, nurses, and other health care professionals into having to perform procedures to which they are morally opposed. As a doctor who disagrees with many of the procedures in question, I am especially worried. Will I one day have to choose between giving up the OB care that I love just so I won...

It was wonderful seeing Melanie and the boys this weekend. Caleb is just getting huge! And so smiley, at least when he's not tired. When we first got there Friday night, he was feeling very tired, and Jeff greeted him with a friendly kiss on the head, which caused his sweet face to melt and big, gigantic crocodile tears to come out. But Saturday morning was a new day, filled with lots of laughs and giggles. Sam continues to be a big talker. And a big lover of all things round and/or mechanical. We talked for a long time about the gears that turn the paddles on this contraption my mom has. And I threw a lot of rocks into the lake. I love being an aunt.

Since there is no where to shop here in Greenwood, I occasionally like to "window" shop on etsy - dreaming of the cool things I could buy. But I have a much harder time actually buying things from etsy - they tend to be more expensive (although much better made) and since I can't try things on or pick them up, our bank account remains safe. Here are some things I found recently - maybe some of you all like to "window" shop as well? How cute is this handmade necktie ?? I have never before thought about sewing neckties, but I might have to start now. I'm not a big jewelry person, but this ring is just lovely. As are the matching earrings . We got Sam something similar to this for Christmas - it satisfies both his desire to stack, his love of cars, and it's a puzzle! This is a beautiful dress. If only I had an extra $200 to spend on a dress and a place to wear it. Here is a cute cake topper . Lots more great earrrings . Anyone else have any good etsy link...

I got some photos of the cute note card portfolios I made for Jeff's parent's - so I thought I'd go ahead and post them here. It was a really fun project, and not too difficult. (And see the manly sewing on the brown one? I was very excited to have actually made something I could describe as manly. Because there are just not that many things to be made that are manly. Or if there are, I haven't found them.) I also made a bag for my good friend Kim, given to her last weekend when we went up to the lake house and hung out with her and a few other friends from seminary during her weekend-long birthday bash. It was a relaxing time filled with lots of good food (including this cake that Kristin made) and we even got in some craft time! Check out Sara's blog for photos of that! This is another bag from the patterns in this book , which I really love. I've only scratched the surface of the patterns in it, but they've all been great. The baby bib pattern I use cons...

I pass this sign several times a week driving around town. And although the moralism is generally true, I always think it is particularly ill-suited as a motto for a repair shop. Doesn't a shop like this really thrive on discontent?

Here is our house as the snow began falling. Here is the neighborhood, being blanketed by the fluffy pillows of soft, delightful snow... "Why are we standing out in the snow, Papa?" And this I took this morning, a bright bluebird morning. The snow started melting early, and didn't take long to go. But it was nice while it lasted. Hopefully these pear tree blossoms won't die from the cold.

" Snow this evening will taper off as a few snow showers late. Low 24F. Winds NNW at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of snow 90%. 2 to 4 inches of snow expected. " Updated: It is definitely snowing here, and pretty hard - I'm at work, but hopefully Jeff will post some photos later. I have to admit that snow always brings out my inner 6 year old. I've already spent 15 minutes outside, trying to catch snowflakes on my tongue.