I have been thinking more these days about how the birth of this little one will go.
The day Judah was born went nothing like I had planned or imagined. It was a long, exhausting, and somewhat disappointing day (that ended well!) during which I spent several hours crying about the c-section I could see coming.
As disappointing as that day was, I know that I got the birth experience that God wanted to me to have. I might have chosen a different experience for myself, but seeing as how I rarely know what's best for me, I know that it was what I needed.
I was reminded today that I have even more to be thankful for that I realized. A doctor friend just gave birth over the weekend. I hear her labor was long and frustrating as well. But then, her baby immediately had trouble breathing, was intubated, and ultimately transferred to the large children's hospital in Charleston where she is struggling to survive. I have felt sick all day that I could ever have grumbled internally about my c-section, and I weep for this friend who is really having a tragic experience. You all can be praying for sweet baby Willow.
Last time, I had decided that I was not going to have a c-section and was going to have this birth in which everything went just like I wanted. Obviously that didn't happen. Although I still have ideas about how I'd like this one to go - I am hoping for a VBAC - I am trying to be much more open-minded about it. The most important thing is to have a healthy baby and healthy mama. I really would love a vaginal delivery but I don't want to be so focused on achieving one that I get so sad and disappointed if it doesn't happen that it ruins the day for me. I am thankful to have a very nice doctor who is going to support me in my desire to have a VBAC. Of course, as the day actually gets closer, numerous things could arise which could interfere with these plans. Until then, I'm praying for VBAC and that God gives me peace and contentment no matter what happens.